I'm lost and stupid without you.
I didn't shave. On purpose
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
