Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
