Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
