dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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