I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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