You made me cry and you don't even care
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
