After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
