I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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