I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
