my mouth tastes like poor choices
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
