The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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