Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
