Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
