I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
