all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
