I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
