i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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