maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
