Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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