my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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