At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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