Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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