If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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