Did you just see the Batmobile???
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
