I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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