hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
