Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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