Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
