It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
