You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
