well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
