Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
