I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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