Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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