I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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