I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
