i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
