I want to walk on stilts...naked
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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