i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
