we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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