No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
