Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
