I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
