dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
