i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
