Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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