I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
