I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
