So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Randomize
