ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
