hell yes lets make some ravioli
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
