I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
